Be gone, 2010!

on the 2nd last day of 2010, i reckon i should do a personal summary of my year.

this year hasnt been a fruitful year, though i have to admit some major changes were made.

first and foremost. my extended family met my bf for the first time. then. shortly after. we broke up.

my status changed from being engaged to single.

i stopped working. too shattered to do anything. and at the same time. racqueen started her divorce drama. so while being jobless. i became her 'legal consultant cum PA cum aunt agony'. as much agony as i was in, i somehow sought comfort knowing that im not the only one that's screwed up. there goes this saying, '9 out of 10 people around you will be gloating over your worries as they are happy to know someone else is far worse than they are.' not sure if im gloating over it, but i definitely benefited a lot from being by her side.

racqueen and i grew closer. so that's number three on the list. relationship with cousin became more like a sisters' bond.

four. i learnt how to prepare for my future divorce. not that im planning for it. but you know, just in case. the necessary charges to file under, necessary documentations to prepare, the the SOP proceedings. i think i cna represent myself in future if i ever need to end a marriage.

fifth on the list. brother got married. to a vietnamnese. not sure how i feel about it. mixed feelings. just wished that he's more sensible to plan ahead instead of relying on mother to be the sole provider. tsk tsk.

sixth. i began dating a number of random men. my 2010 is filled with companions. but none of which let me want them so badly to make them mine.

seventh. got myself a job. got myself rejected by boucheron. and got myself two old spinsters as my bosses. go figure.

eighth. i moved out. shifted and started my full independence. im still loving and enjoying it while also struggling to cope with the increase in expenditures.

ninth. i took up dragonboating again in my desperate attempt to stay healthy and fit. so far, it's just been 2 sessions.

tenth. hmm. realised at the end of the day. im really happier alone. love can be such a nuisance when you're the only one clapping.

last, but not least. eleventh. this one is really heart wrenching and the thought of it brings tears to my eyes. my darling companion for the past 11 years. rocher. my darling rocher left us. spare the details. my only consolation from it was. he waited till im home. and he chose to drift away in my arms. till now. i still have him in my heart. he's like constantly there with me. though i really miss playing tug-of-war with him. miss abusing him and trapping him under the sheets. i miss sleeping with my rocher. farewell rocher. farewell!

that's all for now. :) can't wait for 2011 to start. i havent had a fulfilling year for a long time...

he's gone

bf left for jakarta. when he is back i will be on the operation table curing my sinus problem.

it had been a long and eventful week. misunderstandings. quarrels. break ups. tears. disappointments. all in just 4 days. cant wait for this week to pass me by soon.

not in a good mood to blog. like to blog when i am feeling happier. till then. hopefully you will hear from me soon!

ecp... HERE I COME!!! LOOK OUT

ive decided. ECP HERE I COME!

will try to bring back pictures ok? hopefully i will bum into some hum-sum man!!! 

ooo heros saving damsel in distress. *giggles

now this has really gotten me all excited. till then... GOOD MORNING SINGAPORE!

sleepless at 935am

its 935am. rocher and coco had their breakfast. rocher had his morning insulin jab. mum prepare her misen plas for ah pa's anni prayers. she is surfing the net now in the room prolly checking out her facebook account. big head's still soundly asleep. 

and me? im stil sitting in the same position with my legs crossed in front of my big head's mac. hair as messy. cigarettes litted in one hand. camwhoring with the other. and sleepless for the past 24hours. ya. kua dio gwee especially without my make up nor accessories to zhng. im as pale as a vampire quoted from my mum.  can still remember i was at upper thomson having my delicious dim sum breakfast 12 hours ago. oh yes. a little consolation. 

me mum made me a nice sandwich and a super-gao-siew-dai earl grey tea for breakfast. it's actually her leftovers which im pretty sure she'll let rocher gobbler it down if i werent around. my darling boy is actually still eyeing the precious ham and cheese double sandwich left on the table as seen below. super tam jia!

i had kept myself busy spying facebooks and blogs. somehow im glad i did it. it glad me some peace of mind after reading about so much. im glad i did what i did. but that's till tomorrow when i will expect to receive some sorta aftermath. till then god bless this emotion weakling.

i have this sudden impulse of going to ecp to blade. i miss blading. but at my current state. i'd either end up in a&e with my head cracked from fall, or i will be accompanying the poor victim from my fall. i'd rather the latter eh. 

i miss blading with effy. she makes good confident. gossiper. and my news post on latest updates of my other group of friends. she is unbiased and she gives me the best advice. 

now it's 1015am. what shall i do? bf is now at the store selling yong tau hu. which i was supposed to help out but cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances aka him flying me aeroplane yet again. or prolly i should go grab some sleep. choices.....

finally once again

there are just too much our little hearts can keep. i vowed never to get my secrets written nor documented. but the overwhelming dark secrets that i buried in the darkest corners of my heart starts poisoning all my goodness.

half truths. sometimes its better to work the grey matter and to look at my secrets through the many angles and perceptions possible. prolly this is just my only way of protecting me truths, disguising them as falsified.

till im back from a much dreaded date.